Andrea Otley

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How To Get Through Hard Times

Andrea Otley

Health Coaching For Horsewomen

Episode 5: How To Get Through Hard Times

Welcome to this week's edition of Health Coaching For Horsewomen, a live coaching session for horsewomen who are looking to lose weight and get in great shape to ride and compete on their horses.

In this week's episode, I talk about the violence in our nation and how I'm getting through hard times.

Watch the replay of this week's show here:

I Wanted To Change The World

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

~ Author: Unknown Monk 1100 A.D.

How I’m working on personal growth

Here are five steps I’m using to work on myself:

  1. I practice noticing emotions. What am I feeling? What does it feel like in my body?  I do not run from the feelings, resist or try to change them. I simply am here, with my emotions. 

  2. I practice noticing what I'm thinking. I write down the thoughts in my journal. I get them out of my head and onto the paper. I capture them with my pen, like catching butterflies with a net.

  3. I understand the thoughts are causing my feelings. I can work to get control of my thinking. I accept I cannot change the current reality or situation, but it can still change. The change starts with allowing everything to be as it is, accepting the present moment.

  4. I meet the thoughts and feelings with kindness, compassion, love, and understanding. I learn to be kind to myself.

  5. By lovingly accepting myself as I am, the love and understanding carry over in how I treat others.

Lack of Love

So many people are in pain. They are suffering. The suffering comes from not loving enough. The thoughts and the stories we believe are causing the pain. When we focus on hate, fear, and anxiety, we get more of it. The solution is love. It may sound too simple, but it's not. We can learn to practice unconditional love.

Two things I’m not going to do in these hard times:

  1. Call people names, even the ones causing the damage. What good does it do? Sometimes I feel tempted to call people “idiots”, “morons”, or “stupid” for destroying buildings and acting out. Then I remember to ask myself, “Is it true?” “How do I feel when I call people names?” The truth is people are not idiots, morons or stupid. Sometimes people make bad choices, but they are not bad. They are children of God. I don’t feel very good when I call them names. I feel better when I realize I do not know the whole story, or what it’s like to be them. I shift my focus to my business and improving my life.

  2. Share posts or stories on social media just for the shock or “wow” factor. What good does it do? Being addicted to the drama is alluring. With awareness, I can step out of it. Focusing on the drama or focusing on my business is a choice. I practice noticing when I get sucked in and recenter my focus.

Resources For Feeling Better

[Disclosure: affiliate links provided, at no additional cost to you, I can receive compensation for recommending and sharing products and tools I love. Thank you for supporting my cause.]

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